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Navigating the Holidays as a Caregiver: Overcoming Overwhelm, Isolation, Guilt, Grief, and Fear

 

How are you feeling this holiday season, caregiver?

The holidays, a time traditionally filled with joy and celebration, can be especially challenging when you’re balancing caregiving duties with festive expectations. Whether your loved one is aging, facing illness, or unable to participate in the same way they once did, the holidays may feel overwhelming, lonely, or even guilt-inducing. As a caregiver myself, experiencing eight holiday seasons under these circumstances, I understand firsthand the unique emotional landscape that comes with this time of year.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the Top 5 Emotions Caregivers Experience During the Holidays and provide actionable steps through Awareness, Acceptance, and Action to help you create small moments of joy and prioritize self-care. Let’s embark on this journey together, transforming the holiday experience into a time of healing, connection, and meaningful memories.


1. Overwhelm

Why We Feel Overwhelmed...

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E224: Understanding and Overcoming Caregiver Resentment and Anger

 

Yep, it happened again.

This past week has been a struggle. Just when I think I have it all figured out… Bam. I’m reminded that it’s an ongoing work-in-progress.

Denis, my spouse, got that nasty SARS-CoV-2 Omicron variant. He was struggling on Thursday, thinking it was a bad cold, but on Friday, he took an at-home COVID test and it was positive. After calling the doctor, they got him on Paxlovid. It hit him really bad with nasty coughing, chest congestion, fever, and fatigue. The meds seem to be working, or at least he’s not getting worse.

As I’m trying to stay away from him and we are both quarantining, it’s giving me more time to think about when I was hospitalized for a week with COVID back in 2021. I couldn’t even pick up the phone to talk, and when I did, I couldn’t focus for more than a couple of minutes. I would try to FaceTime my mom, and she would get so mad at me for not wanting to talk.

That’s where the...

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E220: Navigating the Emotional Complexities of Caregiving with Dr. JJ Kelly

 

Caregiving is a journey filled with emotional complexities, and managing these emotions effectively is crucial for both the caregiver and the person receiving care. In the latest episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast, Dr. JJ Kelly, a clinical psychologist and emotional intelligence expert, provides invaluable insights into navigating the emotional landscape of caregiving. From understanding intense feelings of anger, resentment, guilt, and fear, to practical strategies for self-care, this episode is packed with essential information for caregivers.

One of the main topics discussed in this episode is the importance of understanding and validating personal feelings. Caregivers, particularly women, often experience a range of intense emotions, including anger and resentment. Dr. Kelly emphasizes that these feelings are normal and should not be suppressed. Instead, acknowledging and validating these emotions can help caregivers manage the emotional toll more effectively. Dr....

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E44: Have You Wished You Could Get Off The Caregiver Train

 

What about the hard days, the days when you want to throw in the towel, those days when you just want to quit being a caregiver.  As caregivers, you're navigating unbelievably complex and time-consuming situations.  

You're faced with the grimmest challenges 

  • Your loved one is sick and you can’t fix it
  • Your loved one is not the same person anymore 
  • All your focus is on them, their symptoms and pains
  • You’re the caregiver advocate
  • You’re holding up the home and family 
  • You’re dealing with finances and work
  • Then add your own emotions/feelings onto that

How many times have you wished you could get off the caregiving train?  It’s not fun.  It’s a huge sacrifice.  Your heart is telling you to keep going but your mind and body are tapped and the pressure and exhaustion becomes too much.  

First, rid yourself of feeling guilty, embarrassed or shame.   You're human and it’s normal to...

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E41 Caregiver Guilt - Why Do I Feel It?

 

Caregivers often carry around undeserved guilt, believing that they aren’t doing enough for their loved ones. This guilt can make the caregiving role even more stressful than it already is. One might ask why a caregiver feels guilty when they’re doing such a courageous job.

Guilt is the feeling we have when we do something wrong. 

Guilt in caring for our loved one comes in many forms.  And sometimes caregivers feel guilty about thinking of their own needs and see that as selfish, especially if they go to a movie or out to lunch with a friend.You may believe that your own needs are insignificant.  

So ask yourself:   Why do I feel guilty?  

  • Is it Shame?  
  • Is it Control?  
  • Do you feel like you failed?
  • What other people will think?  

Why does needing to ask for help lead to caregiver guilt?

  • We're afraid someone will see us as weak. Actually, it takes a pretty strong person to ask for help when they need it.
  • We feel that...
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Discovering the Power of 'No' in Caregiving

Caregiving can often feel like a tightrope walk, a delicate balancing act between taking care of a loved one and self-care. It's a role filled with complexities and challenges that can lead to caregivers feeling overwhelmed and burned out. Our latest podcast episode titled "Untangling the Complexities of Caregiving: Asserting Yourself, Setting Boundaries, and Harnessing the Power of 'No'" delves into these complexities and offers practical advice and actionable strategies to empower caregivers.

The role of a caregiver can be draining, physically, emotionally, and mentally. We often ignore the silent signals our bodies and minds send us when we've hit our limits. It's crucial to recognize these signs and respond accordingly. Whether it's feeling exhausted, angry, or resentful, these are all signs that you need to take a step back and assess your commitment, health, and overall situation. By acknowledging these signals, caregivers can take the first step towards setting healthy...

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