Caregivers often carry around undeserved guilt, believing that they aren’t doing enough for their loved ones. This guilt can make the caregiving role even more stressful than it already is. One might ask why a caregiver feels guilty when they’re doing such a courageous job.

Guilt is the feeling we have when we do something wrong. 

Guilt in caring for our loved one comes in many forms.  And sometimes caregivers feel guilty about thinking of their own needs and see that as selfish, especially if they go to a movie or out to lunch with a friend.You may believe that your own needs are insignificant.  

So ask yourself:   Why do I feel guilty?  

• Is it Shame?  
• Is it Control?  
• Do you feel like you failed?
• What other people will think?  

Why does needing to ask for help lead to caregiver guilt?

• We're afraid someone will see us as weak. Actually, it takes a pretty strong person to ask for help when they need it.
• We feel that the responsibility is ours alone. By admitting that we can’t do it all, it may feel as if we are not living up to our duties or not giving our loved one the care they deserve.
• We are afraid people will judge us. As easy as this is to say, it is equally hard to do: don’t let someone else’s opinion of you dictate your actions. Your health and well-being is more important than what someone else thinks about you.
• We are afraid of not being taken seriously.  Call a spade a spade—if you feel you are not being taken seriously, say so. If you are talking to a health provider, it’s their responsibility to hear your concerns with an open ear. Speak up, and if you don’t get the response you need, look for help somewhere else.
• We are afraid of being treated with disrespect. If someone talks down to you or treats you dismissively, you don’t have to take it. You have the right to be heard and respected.

So let’s flip here and move from why to what...

Hello, and welcome to this special episode, a milestone, the 200th installment of the Caregiver Cup Podcast. I'm thrilled to share this journey with you and delve into the essence of our caregiving community.

Our story began in October 2020 as The Caregiver Wife Podcast, a personal endeavor to share the lessons learned while navigating the challenging terrain of caregiving. What started as a coping mechanism evolved into a passion project—more than just filling your cup; it's about empowerment, becoming your best self, and discovering strategies to enhance this caregiver life.

Let's take a moment to reflect on our evolution. We've been recognized, ranking 34th in FeedSpot's 80 Best Caregiver Podcasts and in the top 10% globally according to Listen Score. With 182 solo episodes and 18 guests, including spouses, siblings, authors, health professionals, activists, and working women, the podcast has become a diverse tapestry of experiences.

 Thank you for the reviews, emails, and connections. Your caregiver stories warm my heart—challenges, victories, determination, and courage. Your feedback is a ray of sunshine, reminding me of the impact our community has.

The podcast has evolved, and so have we. A couple of heartfelt reviews emphasize the podcast's impact, proving that it's not just a listening experience but a source of inspiration and support.

 Now, let's address some listener questions. Sarah, your struggle is acknowledged. Recognizing burnout is a significant step. Transform your mindset by asking why, find the root cause, and work on solutions. Small steps, like a weekly walk, can lead to significant changes.

Kaylee, your dual caregiving journey is commendable. Guilt is normal but retrain your brain. Acknowledge, find the root, and cope. Focus on the benefits of your decisions, prioritize self-care, and know you're doing your best.

Each caregiver's journey is unique. Don't compare years; focus on what works best for you....

This may sound harsh and bold,  and I don’t mean it to be this way.   But when you look at the glass half empty , you'll continue to stay that way.   Complaining, moping and negativity are easy.  

Yes,  you are experiencing a terrible, challenging time.   I'm sending hugs and warm thoughts.   BUT,  let me be your best friend in your ear.   You have to pick yourself up!   Everything, I mean everything in your life isn't broken.  Yes, your spouse is sick, your new normal is hard but there are parts that are ok.  

Today I want to talk about making the best of EVERY situation.  

I'm hearing many complaining about the holidays not being good this year.   Yes, we're quarantining and being asked to stay home.  But, what about those ppl that lost their loved ones?  What about the people that lost their jobs and are losing their home?

Instead of saying and thinking negative.  Think:  No hustle and bustle, I don’t have to get dressed up.  I don’t have to travel.  We can stay in our pjs all day.   We can have dinner anytime we want to.   We can try new things.  We can Facetime our families.  

Same goes for you!  Instead of focusing on the challenges first , I encourage you to find joy & gratitude first.

Let’s do something fun.   I’ll  give you a couple situations we can find a piece of joy in it.   

 Your sump pump stopped working.  You walk down your basement and it’s flooded.  Four inches of water and everything is wet.  Your spouse just had knee surgery and can’t help.     Yes, this happened to me.  

• Silver Lining:  I was able to call for help and get my boys over and my mom helped.   It was amazing how we worked together and got the basement cleaned up and a new pump put in 
• I could have...

Navigating the complex world of caregiving often presents an overwhelming sense of guilt and pressure, especially when trying to balance personal life, work, and the needs of loved ones. In a poignant episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast, the personal journey of navigating a tumultuous week during Thanksgiving in 2017 is shared, along with insights on how accepting the present moment can alleviate these feelings.

One of the major challenges caregivers face is when they or their loved ones receive a cancer diagnosis. This life-changing event often throws caregivers into a maelstrom of emotions, making self-care fall by the wayside. The podcast emphasizes the importance of taking it all in, allowing it to settle, and logically prioritizing what's important. Granting oneself grace during these challenging times and leaning into therapy and community for strength is highlighted as a vital part of coping with a cancer diagnosis.

Moreover, the societal pressures caregivers often face can significantly amplify feelings of guilt. These pressures, coupled with the unrealistically high expectations caregivers set for themselves, can make them feel like they are constantly falling short. This episode shares practical tips for managing and overcoming caregiver guilt. These include practicing self-compassion, setting realistic expectations, and seeking support.

Understanding the importance of setting boundaries and acknowledging one's limits is a critical part of being a caregiver. Establishing clear boundaries that ensure time for self-care and personal well-being, while providing care for loved ones, can help caregivers manage their feelings of guilt and promote their overall emotional well-being. This mindset shift can gradually help caregivers manage and overcome feelings of guilt and enable them to provide more effective care for their loved ones.

Another key focus of the episode is the importance of self-reflection. By taking the time to reflect on feelings...